


He loves me, he loves me not

by MistyEyedCrow



Series: Misty's Complete Collection of One-shots [8]
Category: Hermitcraft RPF, Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Betrayal, It's Doc's turn to pine, Just a wee bit, Kinda, M/M, Pining, also Grian is a little bit of a prick here, and yes it's always Grian, but it's younger misty's style who am I to judge, featuring a classic game of obliterating flowers, minecraft personas ONLY, no shippy real people, the writing is lowkey pretentious
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-03
Updated: 2020-03-03
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:00:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22985218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MistyEyedCrow/pseuds/MistyEyedCrow
Summary: Doc watches distantly as his heart tears itself apart, burnt from the fires that stirred every time Grian found someone else. Someone else but him.Picking up a delicate flower, he plucks at the petals carefully, reciting the strange pantomime.He loves me... He loves me not... He loves me...He loves me not.
Relationships: Docm77 & Grian, Grian/Mumbo Jumbo, Grian/many hermits whoops
Series: Misty's Complete Collection of One-shots [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1996384
Comments: 12
Kudos: 77





	He loves me, he loves me not

**Author's Note:**

> Context: this was written on 6th december 2017 by a young misty, and she left it unfinished and anonymous in her wattpad drafts for many years
> 
> today, an older misty realised she had absolutely no motivation to write, and started looking through her old drafts to find inspiration, only to find this gem of a piece
> 
> with some tweaking and modifications, a one shot was formed!

Cruel, he knew, to stray near the snakes that bit you, that poisoned you. It did him no good. He knew the dangers, the heartaches that would follow, but it was okay. It was always okay. As long as he glanced his way when they passed each other in the streets, as long as he just acknowledged his presence in the slightest. It hurt in the best way possible.

It was one thing to love, but another to love back.

Grian was like the sun, eyes sparkling like morning dew, excitement drawing in all those who got lost in them. And he was like a weed, in need of his light, but all Grian wanted to do was burn him, making way for the blooming flowers that he overshadowed. He would look so beautiful doing it, with a smile like an angel's and teeth as sharp as the knives dug deep within his heart at every new bed he slept in.

Each new name branded themselves in ugly scars surrounding his heart, a painful reminder of what he was missing. He buried these thoughts deep within his mind, ignoring the pain that inevitably came at each friend of his that came running to Grian. Friends that he'd made so long ago, before his whole world was pulled from under his feet and flipped around on his head. Friends, whom he thought he knew better. While all of them fell entranced, fell under Grian's enchanting spell, he stayed quiet, hiding his pain.

But, he could not hope for anything more. Doc knew his place, he was the darkness that would never truly fit in Grian's fantasy. The one that threatened to destroy his perfect garden of eden, with neatly placed beds of flowers for every heart he'd collected and buried. He was both what Grian wanted, and what he truly feared. Untainted love, too pure for someone like Grian. Too little for someone like Grian.

No, he could not love him back.

Like some strange, twisted punishment, he found himself in a familar field of flowers, a serene place where he could escape the overpowering thoughts. It was a ritual at this point, his fingers instinctively closing around the sharp stem of a white flower, raising it to eye level. He didn't even flinch at the tiniest trickle of blood. "He loves me." He whispers like a promise, plucking out a petal. A deep breath, then the next. "He loves me not."

It was said to be the truth, whether their love was fated. Doc couldn't believe it, he wouldn't believe it. He knew what the ending was, it was the same every time he'd chosen another flower to test, to wish upon. Even after tearing up all the flowers around him, a collection of broken petals and dreams surrounding him, he always knew the end result. He knew what awaited him.

"He loves me... not."

Falling back onto the soft, gentle grass, he let the tears run loose. Out here, surrounded by the flowers, he let his aching heart spill over, laid bare for all the world to see. Petals picked up a solemn dance in the wind, putting on a show in front of his misty eyes. The grass blades swayed soothingly against his back, whispering lies, telling him it would all be okay. And, for the first time in months, he let himself believe it.

It would be okay. It was enough for him to stay, as a shoulder to lean on when another heart was reaped and sowed, filling another flower bed in the endless garden of forgotten names. It was enough for him to stay, close enough to feel the stings of heartache and longing tugging painfully on his heavy heart. Stay, as a friend, nothing more than that. Just a friend.

It hurt too much to even say it.

He had lost all control around the man, he couldn't even recognise himself. Grian could bring him to his knees with just one smile, manipulative but kind, a forbidden fruit from the tree he was warned to stay away from. He had fallen hard, but he would do anything for it to never stop. He both hated and craved that feeling.

Deep down, he knew Grian was using him, tossing him aside like trash to make way for the others. Toying his emotions, knowing he would always come back for more, for Doc loved him too greatly. What could he really do? He could only hold back a bitter laugh, bile rising in his throat as a familiar laugh sparked behind him, revealing the man he loved hanging off another man's arm with adoring eyes. The man who'd first warned him about the new guy with rosy cheeks and a deadly smile. The man, who knew all of Doc's secrets, his wistful looks and yearnings.

That man's moustache seemed to laugh right at him as his world came crashing down

**Author's Note:**

> so yeah... I'm glad i found this, I've been feeling really unmotivated in writing recently, and this served as a good boost (?)
> 
> honestly I'm really hoping that season 7 will expose me to more hermits to write about, instead of the usual few that inspire me! especially since i only started watching hermitcraft at the start of season 6 :")
> 
> maybe i should scavenge around my drafts more frequently
> 
> hope you enjoyed!


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